How to ask your boss for a salary increase

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary!!!

Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing MO$t de$perately.
I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely,

Unice $trainer

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply

Dear Unice,

I kNOw you have been working very hard.
NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.
After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad I have NOthing more to add NOw.
You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,

Manager